The Struggle to Get Everything Done

One of the most unexpected—and frankly jarring—realities of becoming a father was how radically my relationship with time changed. You think it’ll be obvious. I mean, you’re adding another human to your life, one who can’t feed themselves, change a diaper, or fall asleep without you. Of course, it’s going to demand more time.

Marriage brings its own shift in how you spend your days. Suddenly, your life isn't just about you. You’re juggling two sets of social circles, two career paths, double the responsibilities, and things like DMV trips become a joint effort. But adding a child? It’s not just a +1 to your life equation—it feels more like a +5, or even +10 some days.

At first, the baby consumes everything. Every waking (and sleeping) moment revolves around their needs. That’s why so many parents take time off when their child is born—because it’s overwhelming. But the real pressure hits when you return to work. Suddenly, you’re pulled in every direction:

You’ve got a full work schedule and a full parenting schedule—both equally relentless. You still want to nurture friendships and maintain a connection with your spouse. And somewhere, deep down, you crave just a little time to yourself—to breathe, to reconnect with who you are outside of being a parent, even if it's just for a moment.

And that’s the real struggle: There’s no extra space in the calendar, no easy way to fit it all in. You feel like you’re constantly running, constantly behind, and yet the days keep slipping by.

So what do you do? How do you manage the chaos without losing yourself—or your most important relationships—along the way?

If you’re at a place in life where a new career path is on the table, this is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make—one that could ripple through your future family. Maybe you’re coming out of college, eager to build a career, but also hoping to have a family one day. If flexibility is a priority, now is the time to factor that in. Once you’ve spent years moving down a particular path, pivoting becomes exponentially harder.

There may also be moments when a side-step becomes possible—switching roles or industries to create more space for family. If this chance arises, don’t let it slip by. The opportunity to reclaim time is rare, and fatherhood demands every ounce of it.

For many, though, these moments of career transition may no longer be realistic. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of marriage in 2022 was 28.6 for women and 30.5 for men​ (PEW RESEARCH CENTER). By these ages, most people are deep into their careers. Shifting to a more flexible role can mean losing hard-earned seniority or taking a painful pay cut—and that creates financial pressure that only compounds the stress.

But fatherhood doesn’t leave room for regrets. It demands action. Here are four ways you can regain control of your time and show up fully for your family.

1. Have an Honest Conversation with Your Boss

The modern workplace is shifting, thanks in part to Millennials and Gen Z, who are demanding work-life balance like never before​ (PEW RESEARCH CENTER). Companies are increasingly open to remote work and flexible schedules, which gives parents new leverage.

Approach your boss with honesty. Don’t present demands; explain what you need and ask for a plan that benefits both sides. Often, the willingness to engage is rewarded with unexpected solutions.

2. Learn to Delegate

“I used to believe that if it was my responsibility, I had to do it myself. If you want something done right… right?” But in reality, doing everything yourself isn't sustainable. A recent Pew study revealed that more than 50% of working fathers experience significant conflict between work and family​ (PEW RESEARCH CENTER).

So, ask yourself—who can share the load? Whether it's delegating at work or asking teammates to temporarily carry some of your tasks, it’s okay to lean on others. The goal is to create space for fatherhood, even if just for a season.

3. Be Present When You're Home

Time is fleeting. If you work an 8-hour day, sleep another 8 hours, and spend 3 hours handling errands and chores, you’re left with just 5 hours a day for your family. And if your mind is still tied to work during that time, your family feels it.

Turn off notifications. Disconnect from work, reconnect with your kids. Ask questions, do activities they love, and give your spouse a break. Fatherhood demands more than just showing up—you have to be fully present.

4. Make It Up When You Miss Important Moments

Life happens. Extra hours will sometimes be required, and things will get missed. But how you respond matters. The way you handle missed time tells your family where your priorities lie. If work always takes precedence, your family will start to believe it ranks higher.

Your body can’t sustain endless hustle without breaking down, and neither can your family. Every time you sacrifice family for work, make time to balance the scales. Clear your schedule the next week, take your kids out, and spend uninterrupted time together. Make it clear: family comes first.

In the End, Your Calendar Tells the Truth

To sum it all up, Kevin Kelley said, “Show me your calendar, and I’ll tell you your priorities.” If your life feels out of balance—if you wish you could give more time to your family—no one will make that change for you. It’s up to you.

This won’t be easy, and it won’t be instant. Everyone’s situation is different, but the harsh reality is this: if you don’t fight to reclaim time, it will slip away. And the cost of missing those moments is far too high.